For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.