This is realy snow. Not that big, wet stuff that is practically rain and smacked me in the face as I walked to class. I don't think I am ready to drive in this stuff yet.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
This is in reference to Study Break Rant
She called me today and decided she wanted to put whatever is going on behind us and "forget it all happened". Sounds fine, but then I started thinking it could just make everything worse. The following is an e-mail I am considering sending to her. I am afraid I might start screaming if I try to talk to her about what I am thinking and I would probably say things I will regret. So, for both our sakes, I think e-mail may be better. I am at such a loss as to what to do, that any thoughts and opinions would be appreciated. Her roommate and I are frustrated and don't think pretending it never happened is going to solve anything. I am trying hard to to attack her or blame it all on her, no matter how much I feel it is all her fault. Though, I probably didn't help by not doing anything to imporove the situation.
I am all for putting everything behind us. But I have done some thinking and I do believe we need to figure some things out before we pretend nothing has happened. We are mature adults, so I don’t think playing pretend is going to help our situation.
First of all, if you feel I am verbally attacking you for any reason, I apologize. It has never been my intention to badmouth or judge you. I don’t want every one of my comments make you feel like I am attacking you or your actions. I have been told some of my comments have bothered you and in each case he mentioned, they were intended to be innocent comments. I know I can be sarcastic and make harsh comments at times, but I don’t intentionally verbally attack or judge. I am sorry if my comments seemed otherwise, but you have to let me know if something I say bothers you. I want to be able to carry on a normal conversation without having to worry about how I state things. If we can clear the air in that regard, I think the awkwardness and frustration may clear as well. If I have seemed quite around you lately, it is because I have been trying not to say something that may offend you.
Also, I occasionally need to vent about what is bothering me in my life. I feel as friends, we are allowed to do a little venting to each other. I have listened to your work, social, and financial woes for several months, and all I ask is that you reciprocate and let me vent about mine. When I talk about what is bothering me, I am not trying to compare my problems to yours or trivialize anything that has happened in your life. I feel everyone has a right to vent about something bothering them, no matter how insignificant or important it may seem to the listener.
When it comes to our relationship, I believe we both have our defenses up right now. I don’t know about you, but that makes me tense and I have a tendency to get unnaturally nasty and make some stupid comments intended to provoke. We are very different people with very different outlooks and goals. There are bound to be problems and misunderstandings. We may never be like we were before, but I don’t want the awkwardness anymore. I have been uncomfortable around you for several months and I haven’t known how to fix it. I admit there were times when I thought a good yelling match might be the only way to fix this, but I don’t want to damage my karaoke singing voice :).
Posted by Chelsea at Monday, November 07, 2005