Wednesday, July 13, 2005

In the middle of May I had a few money problems and a friend practically forced me to borrow the $120 I needed from her. I haven't had enough money to pay this person back until now because I finally got my first paycheck for working full-time today. I have always been intending to pay her back as soon as I had the money to do so, but now she is upset with me. I don't think it is solely because of the money. I actually think it has very little to do with it. Recently she accused me of being controlling and judgmental towards her. I don't see myself as either controlling or judgmental, but rather the exact opposite of both andthe people she was telling this to agree with me. She has other things stressing her out right now and I believe that has a lot to do with what she is upset with me about and she is just using me as a way to vent her frustrations about these other things. I am sure there is some basis to what she is saying, but I think she has exaggerated it.

I would really like to pay her back and intend to as of tomorrow, but I don't want it to seem like an apology for things I don't believe I need to apologize for or that I am paying her back now because I am feeling guilty and want to get back on her 'good side'. Along with a check I have filled a gift bag with abot $20 worth of items I thought she could use and enjoy as a kind of interest payment as well as a'thank you' for her generosity.

Am I wrong to not want to give this all to her now because I don't want her to think I feel guilty?

5 comments:

Amanda said...

Not at all. If you decide you don't want to give the present to her, don't feel obligated, just because you bought it. I did that once. I bought someone something, and then ended up not giving it to them, because I was upset with them. I ended up giving it to them later, after I'd cooled down. Maybe pay her back now, give present later?

Chelsea said...

Well, I paid her back and gave her the gift bag and I she said she never really intended for me to pay her back yet she mentioned to other people about loaning me the money and acted as if I was ungrateful. I don't know what to think!

Technomage said...

Now that you have paid her back, never borrow money from her agian. One of the worst things you can do for a friendship is to ask for money. If you have to loan money never loan more than you would give away willingly. That way you never feel bad about lending the money out.

Amanda said...

Doesn't really sound like a friend to me.

Chelsea said...

I didn't ask her for the money, she pretty much forced me to take it because I was totally freaking out and didn't really have a choice at the time.

She is always telling me how good it is to have me as a friend, but I am starting to wonder if I can be friends with her.