Saturday, August 07, 2004

Misadventure Numero Uno

I haven't even left for our lovely log cabin on Cass Lake yet and I have already had two mishaps. First, I cut my finger on the metal part of the plastic wrap box this morning. It bled a lot and I had to steal a couple of Nicole's bandaids because mine are still hiding. I also keep bumping it and making it bleed again. I am a clutz, but sadly the next part of my sad story proves I am even more of a clutz and that I can be rather stupid when I don't want to be. Second, I made myself feel very stupid with a minor misadventure.

Now for my misadventure...

I drove to Eldora without a problem. I used my house key to unlock the door and
dragged all my dirty laundry and stuff for the night inside. I checked the buckets to make sure the leaky roof hadn't made too much of a mess and then I went to Hy-Vee for some food for tonight and tomorrow morning. I took my sister's keys and drove her car to the store because I had already parked mine in the driveway. I chatted with a guy at Hy-Vee that I went to high school with and who now goes to Iowa. It was all good.

I got back to the house and the front door was locked. I didn't lock it when I left because we never do. I didn't realize I had to flip the switch after I unlocked the door with the key so I didn't expect it to be locked, but I figured it wouldn't be a problem because Lex would have a house key on her keychain. Well, she didn't, but I could see mine sitting on the dining room table through the lovely antique etched glass of our front door. I checked our other front door and that was also locked as was the back door to the basement and the garage was tied down so it wouldn't open. I called my mom because I knew she had left a key with a kid from church so he could watch the house and feed the rabbit for us and got his number from her. They didn't answer the phone. His dad is a police officer in town, who has actually given my mom a ticket right in front of our house, so I could have called the police and tracked him down, but I didn't really want to do that.

My mom suggested I take Corey's ladder, which is leaning against his house and use it to climb to the roof of our front porch and break in through the screen on Lexsea's window. My uncle said that would be okay as long as I just cut the screen and didn't bend the frame. I didn't really feel like doing that, so I tried a few side kicks on the back door to the basement, but it didn't budge. It's rather thick and was hard to kick and hold the screen door open while side kicking. I did shake a lot of lead paint off the door though.

I decided to try for the dilapidated, falling-off-the-house back porch because that is how I used to get in when I got locked out as a kid. The only problem is the stairs to the back porch have rotted and fallen off, and it is about five feet off the ground. It pretty much looks like you could kick it and it would fall over. I tried that once when I was home while my dad yelled at me not to, but it didn't work. Anyway, I grabbed a chair off the front porch and set it on the pile of rotted wood and rusty nails that formerly comprised the stairs to the porch and tried to make it somewhat stable. I used the chair to crawl onto the porch, while thinking about my last tetanus shot and avoiding rusty nails, and quickly made my way to the door to the kitchen so as to avoid falling through the porch floor. It opened easily and I was in!!! I realized that door doesn't even have a lock on it, which I kinda remembered from my previous experiences. I love that door!!!!!

Well, I definitely feel stupid for getting locked out of my own house. I don't live here anymore, but I did for about 13 years. You would assume I know how to work the front door that I used pretty much every day of my life, but apparently that is a bad assumption to make. I think a need a watcher or somone to follow me around and make sure I don't do something stupid. Currently I am wondering why I feel the need to post this on the internet where everyone can read it, but probably only people that know me will.

I better get back to washing my three weeks worth of laundry and to the jalapeno poppers I purchased during my ill-fated trip to Hy-Vee. I think they are almost ready. I may need one of those Mt. Dews in the fridge as well or maybe a glass of wine from my mom's box o' wine which is also sitting in there. I should also 'mapquest' directions to our cabin!

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
You suspect it was a misprint when the newspaper claimed that drinking a glass of red wine once a minute is good for the heart, but what the hell.


Anonymous said...

You're a freakin' stud. :)

Also... guess who cut her finger tonight?


Chelsea said...

I know I am.

leahwipf said...

At least you didn't have to go to the bathroom the whole time (or did you?). That's what always happens to me, I have to go to the bathroom then I get locked out. Once when I was 6, our school plumbing didn't work -so I couldn't go to the bathroom there- and they sent us home -but not until it hadn't worked for 3 hours already- and when I got home, my mom had gone out and locked the door.... I'd better not tell the rest...

Amanda said...

Do you know how many times I've locked my keys in my car?

Anonymous said...

While it's totally unrelated... I found out that everyone's favorite ex boyfriend has a "poker blog". Whoa. Can you believe it?

Thought you might feel like harassing him.


Chelsea said...

I have only locked my keys in my car once and i didn't have to go to the bathroom during that time.